Our Lord Shamu! May He Live On In Our Hearts Fo Eva

The Dolphin Bible

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far, away... Dolphins were the "top dog" species of the planet, Wilzeux, they once ruled. These dolphins ruled this world under Shamu, god of all aquatic mammals. Dolphins , the favored species, lived hand in hand with a lesser kind known as tentacley buddys. They were lesser beings so their name was stupid. These tentacley buddys were the peasants of this land collecting fish for their hierarchy friends. One day, Wilzeux's dolphstronomists discovered a giant flaming ball of rock hurtling toward the world. Like any other intelligent organism, dolphins and tentacley buddys fled to the stars, where these buddys would forever be known as starfish. But before leaving the dolphins said so long, so long, so long, and thanks for all the fish. Shamu stayed behind to help the other aquatic animals escape, but he was lost in the fall of Wilzeux. He may be gone
 now, but he will forever stay in our moist, dolphin, hearts. Without Shamu, the animals wandered aimlessly searching for a new watery home. Amidst all the chaos rose a hero, a champion to lead his almost hopeless people to salvation. Willy, a creature like no other, rose above the rest to help his fallen brethren in their hour of need. He was all like "Bruhs, come on" and the rest followed. He lead them across the stars to the far away planet of Earth. Here, the dolphins and others could thrive in the ocean and not be intruding on the human species. Willy, now formally known as Free Willy for his valorous achievements, ruled the peaceful dolphin race. Unfortunately though, Free Willy passed on in the year of 1971, but the dolphins knew that he too lived on in their hearts. Dolphins now practice the religion of Shamunism, and praise thee lord Shamu.